Fuck It

I know I said I wouldn't post here anymore, I'm a liar. I don't expect to ever be able to regain your trust, but.....I want to try to make this work. I know you feel something for me, I feel the same thing for you. Take your pants off.

I don't post on here anymore, if you're seeing this and yearning for more of my writing go to http://ejfictional.blogspot.com/

Moving On Is Hard To Do

Hey guys, so as you can see I haven't really been interested in posting on here in a while (not since 2010, good God) so I decided to take my talents to south...tumblr. yeah, tumblr. I'm not sure if I can even say that word here, but what are they gonna do? Ban me?

Anyway my new blog is at http://officialejones.tumblr.com/ go read it, or don't, I'm not your father.

Ready Or Not

I've been staying up until at least 4 AM every night since I have no job (yeah, I'm a bum.) and have been out of school for at least a couple of weeks now, with a couple more left before it starts again. I'm not sure it that's insomnia but it's definitely not sleeping. I am one of the most sleep deprived people in the world that wakes up at noon every day.

Another thing keeping me up at night is Stephen King's On Writing. Thanks to him I've never felt as prepared, equipped, and enthusiastic about my writing. I always needed a little bit of guidance but didn't really have anyone to look to. Thanks to some of King's "telepathy" I feel quite optimistic about writing. I recommend it to any aspiring writers, those who write fiction especially. One thing thing often repeated in that book (And I'm sure any book about writing.) is that the only way to improve, the only way to get better, is to do it. A lot. It's the same with stand up comedy. You can talk about, read about it, watch it, but if you haven't done it, you're still at square one essentially. So all you struggling writers out there, just keep at it. And have fun.

In other news, I don't have a single class before noon this upcoming semester. Thank God for online classes. So maybe (Just maybe.) I'll be better about updating this thing. Somebody's got to waste space on this thing called the internet. Why not me?

Until next time my dear vacuums.

Disteaser

It's been a while, I'm sure all three of you missed me. How long has it been? A month since my last post. I still work harder than Congress. That's really saying something. That's like saying, "Hey, I have fewer STDs than most porn stars!" Which, ladies, is true for me, by the way. Unfortunately, I have the same amount of self respect. You know that old saying, "Nothing good happens after midnight,"? This is proof of that. Why am I drinking V8 Splash and Coca-Cola at the same time?

The main reason I am making this post is to let the voices in my head know that I will try to make more posts in this blog. So, this is kind of like a teaser. Only to be a teaser their should really be some sort of pay off in the end. That's not going to happen here. This is more like foreplay leading to a discussion about economics. Unless you're into that kind of thing. I'm not judging.

I better stop now, before this turns into something really weird.

The Night After Halloween

I woke up this morning. Orange juice and Kit Kats, The Breakfast of Champions. You know, I think my gorilla mask went over well around the neighborhood. I hope no one took it as a racial thing.

My parents turned their lights off, closed the curtains, and hid from trick or treaters again this year. I guess when it comes to trick or treat, my parents kind of made the choice for those kids in advance. They stopped giving out candy a long time ago. Sometime in between the beginning of the Iraq war and when people started to realize maybe we shouldn't have started the Iraq war. Good thing Mississippi is the fattest state in the country, those kids have got fat stored up, so they won't miss any of my parents' candy. Mississippi is also a leader in teen pregnancy. That's not really related to Halloween, I just like dropping that into conversations. You're welcome Mississippi *pervy wink*.

I didn't really watch any scary movies this Halloween, unless the Joy Behar Show counts.

Due to the recession I was only able to sacrifice two lambs this year. Thanks a lot Obama!

I bet I know what costume Christine O'Donnell did not wear this year.

That it is all for now. Goodnight.

Christine O'Donnell - Which

So, apparently Christine O'Donnell (Delaware senate candidate) is me, er, you, or all of us? It seems Ms. O'Donnell has moved on from witchcraft to the ways of the Jedi. ("I am not the witch you're looking for.")

It's true we do have witchcraft in common (I learned it from Harry Potter books.) but she's me? If she's me does that make me her? And if so, why I am I so crazy?

This is the most confusing political campaign from a candidate since Taft gave out free mustache rides during his run for president. What made that confusing? He made everyone do Sudoku while they rode.

In a paper during the primary she said she "heard the audible voice of God." Wow, that must be driving her crazy. We all know how God can be a little long winded sometimes (see The Old and New Testaments.) I can't imagine what that's like. I mean I'm going crazy myself, and that's just because every time I turn on my TV it seems I hear the audible voice of Christine O'Donnell.

But best of luck to her, this is after all the first time I've remembered Delaware was a state in about 7 seven years. So she accomplished that.