Cracker Barrel (Cracker Being The Key Word)

There is always a moment on trips with my family where everything starts to go wrong. that moment is always when someone says, "Hey, there's Cracker Barrel."

In case you don't know what Cracker Barrel is, it's like if you started a restaurant, you bought a building and hired cooks and waitresses. You bought tables and silverware and made a nice little parking lot. And then you had Larry The Cable Guy come in and just vomit all over the place. That's Cracker Barrel.

Now, as a white person I am somewhat comfortable around relatively large groups of white people, but even I am a little startled and slightly frightened by the ratio of white people to non-white people in Cracker Barrels. I believe I now understand what the Cracker Barrel name means though.

Cracker Barrel --- Barrel full of Crackers --- Building full of Crackers eating

Dear God. I believe I've broken the code. This is just like The Da Vinci Code. Only Tom Hanks won't return my phone calls and unlike Dan Brown, priests like me (mostly for my youthful cheekbones).

I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. I should have known a blog post at 1:30 Am about Cracker Barrel would only lead to bad things.